Tuesday, November 1, 2011

The Male Brain--or Lack Thereof

Yesterday was Halloween. We hardly ever get any trick or treaters, but John had bought a couple of bags of candy just in case. That was great--saved me a trip to the store.
He got home before me and already had the candy by the front door. But instead of reaching on top of the refrigerator for a woven basket, he gets into the lower cabinet and roots around for something different.
He comes out with an expensive hand-painted platter that was a wedding present. It was completely unsuitable--shallow and breakable.
But I didn't say anything.
I told him last night to take the candy to his office--it won't last 5 minutes there. This morning I came downstairs after he left. The candy was gone. And so was the platter.
Instead of dumping it all in a plastic grocery sack which would be easy to carry, he has to maeunever steps and car seats with a shallow platter.
What part of that makes sense? What is it about really smart guys that makes them go stupid sometimes?
A co-worker just told me about the time her husband cooked fresh broccoli. He cut off the florets and tossed them. She came home to find him COOKING THE STEMS.
My husband has two engineering degrees--and maybe that's the problem. Instead of taking the easy, practical way out, he opts for something much more difficult.
But I can't worry about that now. I just want my platter back.


  1. My husband is an engineer and instead of finding the simplest solutions he creates "systems".

    One time I wanted the bikes organized in the garage so I delegated this man task to him. What I needed to say was here are these hooks I bought, screw them in here in this spot. I didn't. So after like 4 hours of pacing around the garage, he said he had it all figured out and then began to detail his "system" that was going to include multiple pulleys and counterweight and was so fucking complicated, we would never bother to get our bikes down. "It's a system," he said confused that I wasn't gushing with wifely pride. I don't want a system, I just want to back the car out without knocking over the bikes. To this day, when I ask him to do something similar, I have to specify that I am not interested in a system.

    My husband hasn't abducted any of my serving dishes but he has done countless things that defy common sense.

    And in our house, the orange plastic, popcorn/barf bowl is where the Halloween candy goes, it has every year but I bet he couldn't tell you that.

  2. Sigh.

    He's been driving around all day trying to buy roofing tiles like mine to fix a leak. I went out into the fields round the back and picked up 10 which had fallen off an abandoned shed. It took me 10 minutes.

    You can be intelligent without having any practical or common sense.

    More to the point, why do we stay silent in the face of unnecessary complication?

  3. Ruby--Yes! Systems! There is a very complicated basement ventilation system at my house that involves various windows, doors, a box fan and a dehumidifier. Some days the front window is closed, the large door is ajar and fan is blowing into the room. At others, the both windows are closed and the fan is blowing out of the room. I have no idea about any of it.

    PG--There was a good chance that the platter would come back in one piece, which it did. So I opted to stay quiet. I hope you have enough tiles to fix the roof. As we speak, my den is under construction for the installation of a new, efficient, heat-producing fireplace. He wanted a stove, but I threw a fit. He's been looking for the right fireplace for two years. Sigh.