Because I have something really important to tell you.
Last Friday, at about 9:30 a.m. ...
I shit in my pants.
I thought that just a little fart was going to come out. But it was a little more than that.
I race-walked to the bathroom and examined the damage.
Shit. In my drawers.
Took 'em off and stuffed 'em in the little silver box.
Now you have to understand that I am not the kind of girl who goes around without underwear. But for the rest of the day, that's what I did.
By the time I got home I had a raging case of what I can only assume was diaper rash.