Friday, October 8, 2010

Don't kick me out of the vagina club, but...

I am fucking sick of breast cancer. I'm sick of pink ribbons, facebook games and poignant spam filling up my email inbox.

Last week some NFL players wore PINK SHOES while they were playing football. Others had pink towels tucked in their pants.

And that helps people with cancer how?

I'm sick of people assuming that I had breast cancer when they learn I'm a survivor.

I know that breast cancer is bad. But get this--all cancer is bad.


Did you see 60 Minutes last week? If you didn't, go to and watch the segment on Bill and Melinda Gates. These people aren't running around wearing pink shoes and matching ribbons--they are spending BILLIONS to cure malaria and HIV and to improve schools.

They're spreading their money all over the world because they know that along with a lot of luxuries, $60 billion can buy a lot of time for thousands of people.

They're not doing it from a distance either. Melinda Gates is on the ground, making sure that the people she wants to help are actually getting the care she's paying for.

OK. I know a couple of you are out there cynically rolling your eyes and muttering "photo op" under your breath. But I really don't think that's the case here. Bill Gates is the classic nerd who struck gold. Melinda was the lucky Microsoft employee who caught his eye.

They're not fame whores and they didn't inheirit this fortune. But they are determined to give it away.

So here's the deal. Don't just put on a pink ribbon or post something cutsey on facebook. Do something that actually helps someone. It doesn't even have to cost any money.

Give somebody a ride.

Cook a meal.

Say a prayer.


  1. Can I get a MASSIVE amen! I've never once done one fuckin' pink thing for breast cancer. As a matter of fact, about all I have to do with it is squeezin' around on my own tatas once a month and getting a mamo once a year. Otherwise? Nothing.
    I do, however, get straight down in the middle of the trenches with hopeless dope junkies and do my best to give them a hand up.
    Of course, I probably like this better than being in the trenches with women who have breast cancer.
    I mean, you just can't say the same shit you do to a junkie. Like, "Shut yer fuckin' pie hole mother fucker. You don't know shit and I don't want a mother fuckin' thing you got. Put together some clean time and show me you got two brain cells bumpin' together in that empty knucklehead of yours before you expect me to listen to that shit comin' outta yer mouth."
    I don't think that works for breast cancer people.

  2. Okay, the first rule of vagina club is no one gets kicked out for having an opinion:)

    You know I get why it started but like most things in the US it becomes about selling a feeling and pink products and it has, for me, moved away from the original intent. It's like they are selling a tube of lipstick that is pink for breast cancer but the lipstick has phalates in it, that are carcinegenic, and tell us that by purchasing the twelve dollar awareness lipstick, the will donate $1 to bc awareness.

    October 8, 2010 9:30 PM

  3. agree. that is all.

    oh except i cannot STAND the new FB meme about "i like it on the kitchen table" etc. it does not educate, nor does it raise money, which are the only two things that really matter. this is also the crux of why i hate the pink ribbons and shit as well. and my stepmom is a breast cancer survivor.

  4. Your V-card is still very much intact. In fact, I think we should elect you the official P/R rep of the Vagina club. You know, I never really thought about all the useless pink stuff. I know it's about awareness and October is when we are blitzed with it, right down to the tops of our yogurts. But Ruby's comment on the lipstick as well as your post opened my eyes a bit wider and made me think.

    That's what we're supposed to do here in the Vagina Club. There is so much support and focus behind breast cancer because as I understand it, women's health issues in general used to get diddly. All of the research funds were funneled to other cancers, other causes. Susan G. Koman seemed to be the one to start the ball rolling but I think somewhere along the line it rolled too far the other direction.

    My mom died of breast cancer, via depression. She ignored that big lump because she didn't really want to be here. I have several friends who are battling it out right now. I give to all their walks and causes but I don't wear the pink bracelet one of them sent me because I don't see how that's going to help anyone.

    Great post Elder.

  5. MG--You might want to be a tiche less in your face with the cancer patient. Unless they start whining, then go for it.
    RTSW--It's that word "awareness" that bugs me. I'm a woman. I have breasts. I'd have to be dumber than a bag of hammers not be aware. I'm aware that my ass is too big too, but that's not making it any smaller.
    Jen--That FB deal is what set me off, to tell the truth. Kitchen table, kitchen counter, washing machine, blah, blah, blah.
    ZM--Thanks for the kind words and I'm sorry about your mother and your friends. I had a dear aunt who battled it for years, long before the pink fog rolled in. I'm just a little tired of meaningless gestures.

  6. Yeah, I'm nice to people with cancer. Unless they claim they want to live through it and then won't do a damn thing their doctor recommends. Then? It's on like Donkey Kong in a much milder form than what seems to work with hard headed junkies.

  7. MG--I used to watch people get out of the chemo treatment chair, walk outside and light up a smoke. The nurses and my doc would just shake their heads.

  8. Ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...that reminds me of the guy in my old neighborhood who was on oxygen and - I am not kidding - accidentally blew himself up by smoking a cigarette, stripping furniture and having his oxygen on at the same time.
    As you said in your comment a few days ago - sometimes crazy doesn't know it's crazy.
    No, wait, that's more like sometimes stupid doesn't know it's stupid.

  9. I'm sick of it, too.

    You know what else I'm sick of? People bitching that they have to raise money to participate in one of those Breast Cancer walks. I'm like, bitch what? If they let everyone walk it would be mass anarchy, and do you know how hard it is to find volunteers to run that shit? And the point is not that you're fucking walking, the points is that you're RAISING MONEY, not bragging that you participated. Why don't you raise money and VOLUNTEER YOUR TIME TO HELP THESE PEOPLE OUT instead of complaining that there are too many requirements to make it look like you fucking care.

    Fuckheads, all of them.

    I hate fundraisers.

  10. We get people like that at our fundraisers, getting mad because we won't give them discounted tickets because they think they fucking earned it or something.


  11. Rass--we could go to a different fundraiser every weekend if we were nouveau riche social climbers. Fundraisers serve a purpose and do actually raise money, some of which even eventually makes it way to the charity. But I've been on both ends--attendee and worker--and dealing with the entitlement bullshit is awful.

  12. I read something on the think before you pink website about how corporations think breast cancer is "safe". It doesn't have the "lifestyle issues" associated with AIDS or other cancers. What assholes.

    Anyway, bill gates didn't do charity for many years if I recall correctly. I am pretty sure they give a damn because they didn't really have to start giving so much but did anyway.